"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.

The second footballer nods in agreement, "I'm from Manchester, so I'll eat his chest." Q: Why did god invent alcohol? A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. None of the players were hurt, but it clipped Klopp. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. "Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?". Q: What does an Liverpool supporter and a bottle of beer have in common? He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.'

"The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap.".

She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Joke #4: Q: What do you call 5 Liverpool FC fans standing ear to ear? Q: Why don't they drink tea at Anfield? replied the man. Q: What do I have in common with Liverpool? The 1st guy says: "I support Liverpool, so I should get the liver"

Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. He can remember every face he's ever seen. Q: What do you say to a Liverpool supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? “Result from Anfield: Liverpool 1 (Benitez 10 minutes) - Everton 1 (Cahill 89 minutes).”, They can’t believe it; he has single-handedly gotten a draw!!

not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. Back in Warsaw, not only were the drinks free but they took you to a room in the back where you had sex!" Liverpool wins the Champions League

"That's no reason," she says loudly. Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Liverpool tickets? A: I cry when I cut up onions... Q: What's the difference between Liverpool supporters and mosquitoes? I like Arsenal.. black man starts work on a construction site. Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Liverpool striker? A: A mosquito stops sucking. A: The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures. A young mother was pushing her baby along the street in Manchester when suddenly a huge rottweiler dog lunged towards the pram, gnashing its teeth. "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door." Liverpool is a club that lots of people love. You'll eventually end up with enough bricks to build a free garage. A: A wind tunnel. 2.

", More than dozen teams from England, France, Germany, Italy and Spain in talks about new competition (Sky Sports). Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. ", boasts the little girl.

Q: What do you call 100 Liverpool supporters at the bottom of a cliff?

So the man explains, "I was refereeing this important match between Liverpool and Manchester United at Anfield. "Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help.

said the bartender. A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. At a recent Liverpool-Everton derby, Rafa Benitez goes into the Liverpool changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum. A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! Luis Suarez walks into a sperm donor bank in London... A: A Kop. Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Liverpool Fan. So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...." He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Liverpool supporter." they all got … The tourist from Ireland says, "that's impressive but back in my favorite pub in Dublin, every time you ordered a beer, you'd get a beer and a shot of whiskey on the house!" A. 4. "Because I'm not an Liverpool fan." One liverpool fan, one hartlepool fan and an arsenal fan. They then decide how they are going to split the bear. Why do you ask? Liverpool wins the Champions League A: A wind tunnel. The remaining three men decides the best way to survive is that they eat his dead body, and that they should decide who gets what by which football team they support. The barcelona fan dies. “Don’t be daft, you got a draw, all by yourself. A: Because Liverpool supporters have started to make them up themselves.

Following is our collection of yankees humor and manchester one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Ones plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal. "Lads," he says, "it's not nice, but we're going to have to cannibalise him if we want to survive. The young woman thought for a moment that the dog would kill them when suddenly a man rushed over, wrestled with the rottweiler and broke it's neck with his bare hands. 2. A: A good start! "We can't eat bear meat!" Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Liverpool fan? "I'll have the liver since I'm from liverpool" says the liverpool fan, A: The accused. "Well," says St Peter, "have you done anything particularly brave in your life?". There is an abundance of arsenal jokes out there.

He said, "no train, no gain". Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Native American, only this time he was older and even more wrinkled. Liverpool won the Premier League 1981: "Oh, okay then," said the reporter, "I will write Manchester City supporter saves mother and baby from savage rottweiler!". Q: How do you stop a Liverpool supporter from beating his wife? The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. I will eat the heart Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, St. Peter said he would have to check with God.

"Leeds" was the instant reply. On the first day of training, Steve Bruce gets a ball a says, “You get this and kick it at the goal.” The new superkid looks a bit bewildered but carries on nonetheless. "Who's he?" asked God. Next, the man from Liverpool spoke. They include Liverpool puns for adults, dirty barcelona jokes or clean england gags for kids. I asked "What are you doing?!" Q: Why do Liverpool fans suck at geometry? A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television.

Q: What do you call a dead Liverpool Fan in a closet? ", "Yes," responded St Peter, "I agree that was a real act of bravery. Q: What is the difference between a battery and an Scouser? Not really knowing what a Liverpool supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. The teacher is now angry. Not to be outdone, the tourist from Poland says, "that's nothing. Steve Bruce says, “You get this and score a goal.” Again the kid looks bewildered but carries on. A: Because Liverpool supporters have started to make them up themselves.

A: Ask a Liverpool FC fan! Posted on July 2, 2014 by Harry At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke – 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. Q: What do you call an Liverpool fan that does well on an IQ test? "Because I am a Liverpool fan!"

A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey!

"2-1." 3. Q: Why do Liverpool blokes drink from a saucer? Apparently, he was a great Liverpool supporter. With Manchester United playing Liverpool this weekend, we asked Man United fans if they wanted … a liverpool fan, an arsenal fan and a manchester united fan were doing illegal drugs. 3.

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